Joining the Thin Club

Lifelong Habits

Are you scared of the statistics on regaining lost weight? Want the secret to a lifetime Thin Club membership? 

We all do. We didn't work this hard to get where we are for nothing, and we don't-- any of us-- want to backslide. But if you haven't changed the patterns that caused you to gain weight in the first place, whatever those patterns might be, you will gain weight.

Nobody wants to hear that, I know, but it's the truth. Losing the weight was the easy part, in some ways. The hard part is to make those new habits stick. Here are some of the items on my personal list. They may seem obvious, but it's also obvious that many Americans aren't doing them.

-Drink plenty of water every day.

-Exercise, exercise, exercise! If you've lost a significant amount of weight, and exercise is still something you dread, it's time to try another activity. See my post below on "Shake Up Your Exercise."

-Eat a healthy and balanced diet. Eat reasonable-sized portions of everything.

-When you're full, stop eating.

-Don't deny yourself anything. If you feel too restricted, you will cheat. It's much better to have a small piece (very small!) of dark chocolate now than to inhale a big bag of M&Ms later when the craving overcomes your willpower.

-Weigh yourself regularly. If you see your weight starting to creep up, even if it's just a little bit, take steps to correct it. You know how to do this. You lost the weight in the first place, didn't you?

-Take pride in the new you and love your life.

 

Food Compromises with Family Members

Once upon a time, I used to keep a lot of treats (snacks, junk food, sweets) in the house. As you might imagine, I don't do that anymore. Even though I'm glad to say I don't crave sugary treats the way I used to, I still don't want those sorts of temptations around, for me or my family.

This transition has probably been easier for me than for a lot of people. Since my divorce, I'm a single mom, and while THAT isn't easy, it does mean that I'm the boss at home. I get to make the rules about what is allowed in the kitchen cupboards, without undergoing difficult negotiations with another adult in the house (partner, spouse, whatever). And while you better believe that my kids complained at first, they've adjusted. Now, I am happy to say, with the new rules in place, my kids are healthier too.

But what do you do if you don't get to make all the rules? What if someone in your household insists that just because YOU don't want to keep cookies around anymore, the rest of the family shouldn't have to suffer?

Well, first of all, as a member of the Thin Club, I hope you've learned by now that going without cookies (at least most of the time) doesn't exactly qualify as suffering. I also hope that you can, calmly and rationally, explain this to your family members, and that they are as supportive of your new lifestyle and your new priorities as you deserve.

The trick in all of this is to create a compromise that everyone can live with. If cookies are your Kryptonite, the one non-Thin Club food you just cannot pass up, make a deal with the other members of your household that none of you will buy cookies or keep them in the house.

Be sure to make it clear that they are welcome to have cookies elsewhere (e.g. in their desk at work), provided they don't break the new household rule. In exchange, though, you may need to live with other temptations, like potato chips, that aren't as hard for you personally to resist.

You face challenges like this every day when you leave the house. I promise you: you can learn to resist them in your cupboards at home, too.

Eating Disorders

Do you have a healthy relationship to food? If you were seriously overweight in the past, chances are good that at some point your answer to that question was "no." Having an unhealthy relationship to food is how many of us became overweight in the first place. I ate to feed my emotions rather than my body. I ate for comfort and for pleasure.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying food, of course. Most "naturally" thin people will tell you that they love to eat. But if you (like me) weren't blessed with a speedy metabolism, the food world is full of difficult choices. Counting calories, practicing portion control, making healthy choices: most Thin Club members do some or all of these things all day, every day. Thankfully, sooner or later, it becomes a routine, part of your daily life you don't have to think so much about anymore.

But let me make something VERY clear: we at the Thin Club do not EVER advocate using unhealthy methods, like purging or starvation (or even extreme self-deprivation) to get thin or to stay thin. This is not about trading one unhealthy obsession with food for another just to get into a certain jeans size.

What does a serious eating disorder look like? Here's what the National Eating Disorder Association has to say about anorexia and bulimia, two of the most common eating disorders:

ANOREXIA NERVOSA is characterized by self-starvation and excessive weight loss.

Symptoms include:

• Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for  height, body type, age, and activity level
• Intense fear of weight gain or being “fat”
• Feeling “fat” or overweight despite dramatic weight loss
• Loss of menstrual periods
• Extreme concern with body weight and shape

BULIMIA NERVOSA is characterized by a secretive cycle of binge eating followed by purging. Bulimia includes eating large amounts of food--more than most people would eat in one meal--in short periods of time, then getting rid of the food and calories through vomiting, laxative abuse, or over-exercising.

Symptoms include:

• Repeated episodes of bingeing and purging
• Feeling out of control during a binge and eating beyond the point of comfortable fullness
• Purging after a binge, (typically by self-induced vomiting, abuse of laxatives, diet pills and/or diuretics, excessive exercise, or fasting)
• Frequent dieting  
• Extreme concern with body weight and shape

(Source: National Eating Disorders Association webpage)


If you see yourself, or someone you care about, in either of these descriptions, it's extremely important to get help. Talk to your family doctor, see a therapist, or seek out an eating disorders specialist for guidance.

You lost the weight because you wanted to make your body healthy; don't you owe the same to your mind?

The book cover

Coming in July!

Shopping for New Clothes

Most overweight people dread few things more than clothes shopping. When I was heavy, I would do anything to avoid entering a dressing room, with the three-way mirrors, the too-bright lighting, and the skinny salesgirls whose eyes seemed to carry so much judgment of my appearance. When you've been big for a long time, this dislike of shopping can be a hard thing to get over.

I first went clothes shopping for my new "thin" wardrobe before I'd lost a pound. You read that right. For me, so much of my weight problem was tied up in self esteem problems (and the feeling that I couldn't take any time for myself!) that I knew that conquering my fear of clothing stores, and starting to acquire a wardrobe of things I felt good in, was a hugely important first step. Think about how much emotion is wrapped up in your "fat pants," that one item of clothing that serves as a reminder of just how big you used to be, and by extension how far you have come.

Whether we like it or not, our clothes are an important part of how we present ourselves to the world, and how the world interacts with us. This doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune on new stuff, especially if you're still in the weight-loss phase. But you should make sure that your clothes make you feel good about yourself. Make it a goal to get rid of everything in your closet that you don't feel good in.

While we're on the subject, you should get rid of EVERYTHING in your closet that's too big. (You can keep one item from your heavier days as a talisman, but it should go with your keepsakes, not your clothes.)  Weeding out your things this way will provide a symbolic break with your past, and will have the added effect of making it harder to go back to your old ways: if you put the weight back on, you'll need to buy all new clothes, again.

You may be tempted to have your old outfits altered to fit the new you. If the pieces are of good quality and not too out-of-fashion, this is a reasonable thing to look into, but keep in mind that having something tailored down more than a size or two is a major reconstruction job, not an alteration, and your tailor or dressmaker will charge you accordingly.

When you're ready to shop for new things, the process may feel very mysterious at first. I made some very weird choices my first shopping trip or two-- I had no idea what looked good, or even what size I was! Take along a friend who you trust, whose personal style you admire. And don't be afraid to carry a range of sizes into the dressing room with you. Just think how good it'll feel if you think you might be a 10 but it turns out you can get into a 6!

I'd love to hear your shopping stories. Share them in the comments!