Joining the Thin Club

Of Pretzels and Sex

OK, I admit it.  Since I became single, there are times when I feel deprived--many,  in fact.  Days (or weeks or months) without sex just fuels my desire to touch, smell, taste something salty-to fill myself with...the crunch of PRETZELS!!!  In the absence of sex, pretzels seem to fill a void.

I noticed during the ebb and flow of my dating adventures that there are times when circumstances (or lack of a partner) leaves me climbing the walls.   My old boyfriend, who was unavailable frequently, used to joke about it.  A few weeks without him, and I found myself at Trader Joe's trying to decide between pretzel crisps and the short crunchy whole grain nuggets.  I'm buying pretzels, I would chide him--my way of letting him know how much I missed him.  The crunch of a pretzel during our midnight phone call was my way of saying, "Get over here NOW!"

"You're just trying to fill a void," suggested an Internet guy-friend who is too far away to help with any other solutions.  "DUH," my reply.

One friend suggested a vibrator.  Another suggested if I can't find a man, I should consider settling for a woman.  I suppose that may work for some.  Me, I'm just a pretzel kind of gal.

So I made a deal with myself.  On days when my cravings for unbridled passionate pretzels (in lieu of other things) overtakes me, I will indulge a bit (portion control!!!) and work an extra hour on the treadmill or kick boxing.  Yeah, I may end up eating away at my knee cartilage, but when all is said and done, at least I won't get a social disease or pack on the pounds. 

My Secret Weight Loss Weapon - the Power of Prayer

Can you pray your way to being thin?  While prayers may not stave off the cravings for a milk shake, they affirm your belief that you are not alone in your struggle to get and stay thin.

I discovered the power of prayer early on during my struggles.  Recovering from a difficult divorce, looking for a job to support myself and my children as a single mom, living in a basement that frequently had no heat and was constantly sewage flooded, navigating the new social scene - and looking for the right man to be my partner for the rest of my life, keeping my children on-track - none of it was easy.  And I realized early on that I could turn to food, or I could turn to the prayerbook.

I found that the same positive endorphins that flowed while I exercised, flooded my brain as I beseeched G-d for comfort, sustenance and to help me through my challenges.  I found myself connecting in ways I never thought possible.  Understanding that my challenges, though unique, were part of a Divine Plan and that each was presented to me as a test - not to hurt me, but to teach me - and this lessened the hunger pangs, cravings and desire for things that are not good for my body.  After all, my body was a gift from G-d, given to me to serve Him - do I have the right to defile it in any way?  Praying each day, put me in touch with the fear, love and gratitude that I need to muster in order to understand that I am never in it alone.

Take time each day to put in a prayer and to mean every word you say.  It's amazing how it will help you balance your body, mind and soul.

A Victim No More

The "Victim" or "Martyr" mentality is one of health and fitness's greatest challenges.  When we see ourselves as controlled by others, self-sacrificing to the point of neglect or helpless, we are subscribing to a life of failure.  Yet so many of us see ourselves as "not in control" -- and translate that into being "victimized by circumstances."

Are we really in control?   The answer is yes...and no.  We can't control circumstances in our lives.  Those of us who believe in a Higher Power, believe that someone else is in the driver's seat--always.  But we can certainly petition that Higher Power to intercede, help and aid us in our efforts.  And we can control our responses to our lack of power, by continually going forward -- not getting bogged down in the minutiae of details.  That means NO food will ever have power over us.  That means if we miss a day of exercise, we do not have to engage in weeks of abstinence since we "broke our record."  That means as life (or G-d) throws us curve balls, we can choose to catch them and throw them back...The victim stands and gets hit by the lemons.  The functional person decides to use those ripe and juicy lemons to make lemonade, open a stand and sell the goods to others.

Several weeks ago my job was eliminated.  I was a Regional PR Manager for Lord and Taylor.  I cannot tell a lie.  Being a self-supporting mom, the fear is palpable.  But rather than wallow in pity for myself, I decided to trust in G-d, pray every day and exercise to keep my mind healthy.  Do I know where I will land?  I do not.  But I refuse to knight myself as a Martyr or Victim.  I will use my faith in G-d to understand that this is part of a larger picture--one that I am NOT privy to.  I will ask for His divine guidance to help me each day.  And I will do whatever it takes to help myself.  And for those who may be asking the question, NO, I will NOT indulge in junk food and couch potato habits.

May each of you make today a positive day and stay in the "Victim-Free" Zone!  Judy

Getting Your Needs Met

One of the toughest things I've learned to do--and it's very much a part of my weight loss--is learning to ASK for what I deserve.  Time for myself to exercise, beautify or just "veg out,"--a phone call from Mr. Wonderful who suddenly takes a powder when you're waiting by the phone.

Part of the whole "martyr" gestalt that frequently leads to weight gain - is feeling that everyone else comes first.  It's the old how many Jewish mothers does it take to fix a light bulb question (answer, "Oh, don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the dark").  Well guess what, folks.  IF you sit in the dark, you've got only yourself to blame.

If you drown yourself in layer cake - well, you are making a choice.  One of the truths I learned to face while I was fat was that FAT was a choice I was making.  I chose to eat wrong.  I chose to indulge in foods that would insure that I would be unhealthy, and I chose not to exercise.

The weight loss began the day I decided to choose health.  And that was the day I learned to ask for what I deserved in relationships, in my home, from my children and in my life.  It's OK to ask for what you need. If the answer is no, you can find a way to get it.  It's all about choices.  We make them every day.  And about finding a way to no longer sit in the dark and blame the world!