You have been "good" all day long. You woke up early and exercised. You made careful food choices. You even watched your portion control. Now it is 8 PM and you find yourself plowing through three bags of microwave popcorn. "Just one more handful," you promise yourself. But something's wrong. One is just not enough. It's Diet Sabotage!
Why do we engage in self-destructive behavior. What makes it impossible to pull the plug on ourselves? What's going on????
The battle raging under the surface goes something like this. As I reach for the popcorn, a little part of me is saying, "You are not worthy of being thin. You don't deserve the nice clothes and compliments. You never did have self-control. You're a sham!"
Sabotage occurs when subconscious doubts take over our conscious decisions. It happens all too often. And usually it is so subtle that we don't realize it's happening. Sabotage is not confined to the diet arena. It happens in all aspects of our lives. Whenever we have underlying doubts about our "worthiness."
Susie, a New York banker, had been dating an infectious disease doctor from Worcester, MA., a man who resembled a short Al Pacino. He wooed her for six months, then dumped her, accusing her of flirting with other men. She was sad, but life continued and she started to date again. One month later she met a woman who told her that the handsome doctor had been living with her the entire time he was dating Susie. She became furious. She swallowed her anger, realizing there was no going back and no getting even. And in the meantime, she met a man who truly loved her and told her so from the get-go. Slowly, Susie learned to trust again. Her new love gave her everything she wanted and then some. It was superior in every way to her former relationship. And just as she committed to an exclusive relationship with the new love, she found herself consumed with anger for Dr. Doom! She is obsessed with the idea of confronting him - outing him to the world - letting everyone know what a horrible man he was for two-timing her!
Why is she even THINKING about him now? The same reason your diet doubts make you reach for popcorn. There is an underlying cause. You are programmed to punish. You are convinced you are unworthy of the healthy relationship - whether it be with men or with food.
Exercise for the day - repeat to yourself - I AM worth the very best. I DESERVE the very best. Believe it. Then live it. And put the popcorn/chocolate/or photo of Dr. Two-Timing scuzbag, where it belongs - in the trash!
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