I was having an awesome weekend with a group of female friends. It was a love-fest - a sleepover with great (healthy) food, fun, dishing...you know, girlfriend stuff. Then one girl overstepped her boundaries, and I felt my claws come out. I snapped at her. My fur was just ruffled. Is it because I'm a Leo? It was a small transgression - but I felt that she was "moving in" on my territory. OK, maybe it was compounded by the fact that she had been chattering endlessly about herself ad nauseam for hours and I just didn't want to hear her voice anymore...and one small push on her part to commandeer the conversation was the straw that broke the camel's back.
What made me do it? I felt instantly bad. But not bad enough to apologize to her. Bad enough to cause a whole lot of introspection. I realize that some button had been pushed in ME. And I wanted to know what that hot button was. So I wouldn't do it again.
A part of me hates the fact that I was weak - and that I reacted the way I did. It was momentary and she and I got over it fast. We parted friends. But I became aware that there was something there that I needed to address in myself. And Iknow that I will call her tonight to beg forgiveness and to make amends. Because I had no right to wreck her time at my home. That was inhospitable of me.
Being a responsible adult is hard. We have to face tough images sometimes when we look in the mirror. It's like being overweight. You can only fool yourself until a certain point when you haven't been "good." Then you notice the inch that is hanging over your waistband. And the fullness of your face after a week or two of carb indulgence. At some point we have to take the rap for who we are. And fix the problem. By introspecting. Apologizingg. And promising ourselves, and when others are concerned, them too, to do better next time.
Here is a sweet treat from the Splenda website. Enjoy! http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dfpf4324_198c8dqdhfh
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